r/mildlyinfuriating • u/SunBubble920 Fold in the cheese • 8h ago
Please stop saying people without kids don’t know what tired is
When I seem to make a comment about being tired, I have multiple times had people reply with “try having kids” or “you don’t know what tired is until you have kids”.
While I respect that raising and caring for children is stressful, tiring and a challenge, that doesn’t mean people without them are not tried.
Personally, I have a full time job that I bust my ass at mentally 40 hours a week, plus a physical part time job. I have my own health problems I’ve been dealing with for 5 years that enormously drains my energy. And I am frequently stressed about my husband’s mental health.
No kids doesn’t equal not tired. We’re just tired for different reasons.
That’s all. Thanks for reading. 💕
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u/abbyabsinthe 7h ago
The other day, I heard a kid (like 11-12 years old) telling her dad that her hips were hurting, and my initial thought was “wait til you get older, kid”, but then I thought, “wait no, people dismissed me when I said I was in pain at that age, and 20 years later, I was diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder”, so I was being an asshole with my initial thought and that’s my impetus to try to do better in the future.
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u/Productivitytzar 6h ago edited 3h ago
This is a good reminder as a fellow person-living-in-a-malfunctioning-meatsack. It’s so tempting to snap back because it’s what we were told. “Your back hurts? Wait until you’ve been working for twenty years.” Well, now I’m here, and I’m still in just as much pain. Everyone is just looking for validation and connection and to feel seen. “That sucks, me too” is a perfectly good alternative.
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u/Caliroflnia 4h ago
This reminds me of the quote, “our first thought is what we were taught by society, our second thought is who we are as a person” so give yourself grace :)
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u/The_Great_Potate_Oh 5h ago
I don’t have a connective tissue disorder and at that age, I remember growing pains so bad in my legs and hips that I couldn’t sleep. Bodies just hurt…a lot… at all ages. Hooray.
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u/VapoursAndSpleen 4h ago
I went through my growth spurt in the winter and spent Christmas break and half of January in bed with tons of blankets piled on me. Turns out I grew about 8 inches in 6 months or so.
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u/DontAbideMendacity 4h ago
I remember jumping off single story roofs when I was a kid. Now I contemplate stepping off every curb as a potential for injury.
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u/HugeTheWall 4h ago
I remember that too. It felt like my bones were sore. It stopped around when I stopped getting taller so I assume it was that and not something bad.
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u/babyBear83 5h ago
I work with mostly older patients in cardiac rehab, so exercise + elderly means lots of talk about pains. But I am 42 and have a shoulder injury and bursitis in my hip..god forbid I ever say anything hurts because they ALL will chime in. “You’re too young for that” “Wait until you get to my age” “It could be worse, look at me” “You’ll be okay, you’re young” etc etc etc…I constantly have to remind them that injuries don’t care how old you are.
Our boss is in her 30’s but has MS and was at one point walking with a limp before she was unable to walk anymore (now uses mobility scooter) but the patients would always ask her the RUDEST questions about what’s wrong with her and “your too young” blah blah blah, she had the best attitude about it all but seriously…it’s so fucking rude to belittle other peoples injures and conditions just due to “they are younger than you” and it’s a big reason why people end up permanently disabled because no one took them seriously for years..
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u/PineappleOnPizzaWins 4h ago
Mm I hate the “you’re too young for that!!” crap.
All it means is they were fortunate not to deal with any of that crap until they were old.. boy that would have been nice.
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u/5redie8 4h ago
At every job I've ever had, I have gotten teased/made fun of/called out for having the "man flu" (Jokingly for the most part but sometimes it felt like they were taking out a little frustration) by at least a couple of women for calling out sick for stomach pain/joint cramps. Then on the other end I'd have the tough guy dudebros complain to management that I call out for not urgent reasons.
Problem is I deal with essentially the same thing you do (mine is basically Lupus just with a couple swapped around symptoms). Lovely situation to deal with, also doing my best to not judge people nearly as much.
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u/kynuna 4h ago
I have endometriosis. Fought for years to get diagnosed. Now with my friends’ teenage daughters, I am hyper vigilant about their pain. Their mums are a bit inclined to brush it off as laziness or “just a painful period” (that old chestnut), but I believe them. Ask lots of questions. Listen to them. Tell them (and their mums) other symptoms to watch for. So maybe they don’t have to wait 20 years for a diagnosis.
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u/RelativeMundane9045 7h ago
People need to remember that you never know what someone else has on their own plate, and that everyone's plate size itself inherently fluctuates.
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u/ThaddeusJP BBBBBBBBBBBBBB8BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB 4h ago
you never know what someone else has on their own plate,
What I've learned in life is Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
Some people are just really good at covering it up. Others wear it on their chest. But we're all struggling to an extent.
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u/sleepysof_ 1h ago
When someone seems like they're trying to argue with me, the best way to stop them is to genuinely ask if they're ok. They're usually not.
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u/anothermanscookies 6h ago
My sister in law laughed in my face once when we met over the holidays and I said I was tired. It was the among rudest most tone deaf shit anyone has ever said to me. She didn’t care or care to know that I had been working 70-80+ hour weeks, juggling a million responsibilities without a single day off for months on end. She was a parent and I couldn’t possibly know tired. She’s regularly proves herself to be a kind of a piece of shit though.
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u/Radio_Mime 2h ago
She makes it sound like being tired as some exclusive club that only certain people are allowed to join.
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u/anothermanscookies 2h ago
Exactly. You don’t know what people are going through. I had a few years there where I and the people around me had so many personal, professional, and medical setbacks and tragedies that I actually made a list, month by month, of all the shit that was going on for years on end. It was quite validating looking at it from time to time that yes, this really is super fucked up and relentless. There’s always someone who has it worse, and I’m grateful it wasn’t, but my goodness I had a lot going on for a while. Thankfully, I’m enjoying a period of stability and not at all taking it for granted.
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u/Present_Mastodon_503 2h ago
I am a parent of two kids, my youngest being way more tiring than my first. And I can honestly say that no, parenting is not the most tiring thing. In my personal life, the most tiring thing was living with undiagnosed hypothyroidism while working as a patient care technician in a hospital unit that never let you rest and constantly did overtime. I literally felt like I was dragging my half dead body around. Foggy headed, physically and mentally exhausted, no amount of sleep helped, no amount of caffeine helped just constantly on the verge of exhaustive collapse.
Am I currently tired, dealing with an almost 2YO and a 6YO with auDHD? Yes. But I have been and known others to have been in more tiring situations than I currently am and kids are rarely ever even in that equation. People are just self centered and tone deaf.
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u/AtomicBlastCandy 8h ago
I hate people that play the misery Olympics
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u/RegressionToTehMean 8h ago
I hate them even more than you, though.
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u/Faisfancy 8h ago
But I hate them the mostest!
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u/reverendcat 7h ago
You don’t even know what hate is.
*source: I’m from Boston
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u/Faisfancy 7h ago
Hey buddy I've known hate since before it was even called hate.
- source: I'm from the Midwest. You betcha we know hate. We serve it with a side of tattertot hot dish!
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u/HoneyBadger_Cares 7h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/vsC6ygPxdVVLi
You merely adopted the hate...
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u/bloodrush8898 6h ago
Do not recite the dark hate to me, witch. I was there when it was written
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u/megasin1 5h ago
That's nothing I had to walk 5 miles through hate and back, uphill both ways.
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u/jlxmm 6h ago
I'm also from the Midwest. Not only will we serve Hate up with a hot dish, we will do it with manners thanks!
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u/LumpyJones 6h ago
I'm from Texas, and all I can say to that is, Well, bless your heart.
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u/Bag_of_Meat13 8h ago
The Hate Olympics I can fuck with.
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u/geof2010 8h ago
I hate everyone regardless even some of the people I tolerate I still hate them most of the time. Hope it makes me a contender.
(Edit) I even down voted myself just to be consistent. Bring on the hate!
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u/Live-Dish1409 7h ago
People who hate people, come together!
"....No."
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u/Live-Dish1409 7h ago
Doug Stanhope said it so well, "Just because your suck sucks more than my suck, doesn't make my suck suck any less."
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u/Inmate_Squirrel 8h ago
Yup. I think we all need to accept that nobody cares about our problems except ourselves
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u/Immediate_Apple_7676 6h ago
Never tell anyone about your problems. Ninety percent of people don't care, and the other ten percent are glad you have them.
- Charlie Munger
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u/ShinyDapperBarnacle 7h ago
I'm gonna nominate an acquaintance at work fot the gold. This pathetic narcissist came from Bosnia to the US as a refugee 25-30 years ago. She's so awful she's alienated the entire Bosnian community where we live (no small feat, large community). I'm sure she saw some shit in Bosnia but neither she nor any family directly endured physical harm, no harm to their homes, etc. A few years after she starts a wonderful woman from Rwanda is hired. She is one of only two survivors in her entire extended family and she watched through a crack from inside a trash barrel (that her grandma stuffed her in) as almost all her family was slaughtered and worse. She stayed in that trash barrel for two days and nights.
Narcissist bitch knows this but constantly tries to tell people how she had it worse. The colleague simply doesn't engage and puts her ear buds in. Misery Olympics indeed, just with only one side participating.
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u/Active_Confection655 7h ago
It's never a competition. People who have actually been through shit know this. I have held a lot of my trauma in and didn't talk about it for a long time, because I didn't think it was bad enough to talk about and I didn't trust anyone to open up to about the shit. This includes psychologists etc. Life is wild lol took me til my 30s to even admit it to myself.
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u/idonotknowwhototrust PURPLE 7h ago
"Well if it makes you feel better, <a thing they have to go through>"
Why would it make me feel better to hear you also suffer? So stupid.
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u/Joeman64p 8h ago
Misery loves company. Specifically people who have kids.. they’ll try their hardest to convince you that kids are the best, most amazing thing ever.. while simultaneously telling you they hate themselves, there decisions and wish they had peace and quiet time again.. traveling, eating alone etc
I dunno about you - but that sounds like a textbook scam. I’m good 🙂 - I’ll take my bird, dog and cat.. in peace ✌️
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u/tfy-cape-town 4h ago
lol as a parent I have never recommended having kids to any of my kidless friends.
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u/Joeman64p 4h ago
We appreciate your support - I’d like to add. I don’t dislike children! We have nieces and nephews (family and friends) - we’re god parents to our best friends son and we regularly pick him up and take him for the day/weekend. But in the end; we don’t want children of our own. We’re happy to support and rent our friends friends for the weekend and return them on Sunday full of sugar and new cool toys lol 😂
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u/Frenchman84 6h ago
As a parent I tip my hat to you. I don’t regret having a kid but definitely see why one wouldn’t!
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u/Sway_RL 7h ago
Exactly. It's not a competition. Everyone has their own limits and someone's worst might be average for someone else. Doesn't make it any less for the person experiencing their worst.
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u/steroboros 7h ago
Especially when they think they deserve the "I reproduce uncontrollably, pity me" medal
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u/Negative-Narwhal-725 8h ago
Chemo. Now that's tired.
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u/23-1-20-3-8-5-18 8h ago
This guys exhausts
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u/macmite 8h ago
This guy straight pipes
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u/WillieNolson 7h ago
I’ve had people tell me they’d love a week off/away from their kids each month. It’s fucking chemo, not a vacation.
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u/TheM0nkB0ughtLunch 7h ago
I went through chemo and radiation concurrently immediately after getting half my left lung cut out, and I also have kids. It can always get worse people! (Now someone please one up me)
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u/Toocoo4you 6h ago
I stubbed my toe this morning
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u/Arkanial 5h ago
I ordered a grilled cheese and the outside was burnt while the cheese was unmelted.
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u/MilaVaneela 5h ago
Had cancer, was taking care of my dad who also had cancer and my husband who had suffered a spinal injury on the job. I salute you as well.
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u/Feeling-Eye-8473 5h ago
My sock slipped down in my boot while walking today. When I took off my boot to fix it, I temporarily lost my balance and stepped on the slushy ground with my half-socked foot.
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u/Cuttybrownbow 5h ago
How are you now?
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u/TheM0nkB0ughtLunch 5h ago
Had a recurrence in my brain 2 years ago and have been on a Gene Therapy drug since. Lesion remains stable 🤞🏻
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u/Cuttybrownbow 4h ago
🙏 we all deserve a chance to feel confident in our health. I'm happy to hear the gene therapy is helping.
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u/ScrotalSmorgasbord 7h ago
People can be so unbelievably insensitive. I hope chemo kicks cancer's ass more than it kicks yours! My current situation is a lot less infuriating but last night while I was getting chest xrays for fluid in my lungs/bacterial infection I was guilt tripped by my former boss's kid for not being sure if I could commit to coming in and helping them this weekend. I haven't worked for them in any meaningful capacity (few times a year) in ~4 years. The day before that I had a manager who is technically beneath me in the pecking order (big boss>me and my office counterpart>her>everyone else) try and tell me "it was extremely disrespectful to (our boss's name) that I called in the way I did and we all need days off but we have to work as a team". It's in writing... I'm including it in the massive case HR already has going for her. I couldn't imagine saying that kind of stuff to someone going through any disruptive illness/event, let alone chemo.
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u/sportsfan3177 8h ago
Just posted a comment on this. Not that there is a contest, but chemo/cancer tired is an entirely different animal.
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u/throwaway928816 7h ago
This is one of those things you can claim because a lot less people have had chemo than kids. And you'd also be thought of as a dick for contesting it. But for some people, like myself, it wasn't that bad. So don't avoid getting chemo just because the majority say its terrible. It might not effect you and you can keep going about your daily life.
Edit: obviously I'm taking about physical tired. Parents also have to deal with the mental type tired from constantly being responsible for another life. I 100% couldn't deal with that.
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u/Old_Market_8059 6h ago
Dealing with cancer is more mentally exhausting than having kids for most people, so it's not just about the physical aspect. I'm glad you didn't have to deal with the physical exhaustion. The wife has not been so lucky... first and second bout of cancer. Not going to survive this one, but buying as much time as we can before it gets to be too much
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u/sportsfan3177 6h ago
I’m so sorry. Cancer sucks. I pray for a peaceful and painless transition for your wife.
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u/akarakitari 8h ago
Fuck yes it is. Im a dad of 2 kids and thought I knew tired…
But god i was taking 2–4 naps a day during chemo…
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u/cracked_belle 7h ago
As I try so hard not to point out to coworkers - you CHOSE that. Sometimes twice or more. We didn't decide to get cancer as a lifestyle or to please our parents or to fix a shitty relationship.
There is, I'm told, also some form of trade off, where parents feel exhausted, but also loving, loved, proud, and grateful for their kids. Trust me, I wasn't taking fun pictures of my cancer ripping open presents on Christmas morning. No trade off, no upside, no free weekend while cancer is at grandma's, just so, so, so tired for so long.
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u/Technical-Banana574 7h ago
Watched both my husband and father go through chemo. Would not wish that on anyone. I remember it was a challenge just to get my dad to eat something, even if it was just a yogurt.
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u/Horror-Ad-4947 8h ago
As a mother, I couldn’t agree more. Yes I’m tired. Yes you’re tired. We are all fucking tired.
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u/Thejokingsun 8h ago
Hey stay away from the coffee machine! You already had 3 cups!
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u/leaky_wires 8h ago
Thanks for reminding me that I need to stop scrolling and get some coffee
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u/I_comment_on_stuff_ 7h ago
Also a mom of a 7yo, I agree. But, I've never been as tired as I was when she was weeks old. That was my most exhausting time in life so far. I'm sure there are things that aren't parenting that compare, I've just never gone through it.
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u/aliyune 7h ago
Yeah, same. I can comfortably say "I (ME) did not know tired until I had a baby." That doesn't diminish anyone else's tired. Just that I'd been dog tired before but nothing came close to a newborn. Especially one with "colic" (that of course turned out to be a GI problem.)
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u/Wolf_Mans_Got_Nards 4h ago
I didn't know it was possible to hallucinate from tiredness until I had a baby with colic. I get why they use it as a torture technique, because the effect it has on your body & mind is wild.
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u/chapsandmutton 7h ago
I had a kid at 40. I was a workaholic in my 30's, seven day 80 hour weeks. It's just a different tired. There are no days off with the kid, and every free gap is filled with someone else's needs.
Definitely agree it's not a competition, but for me, I am way more tired working a 40 with a kid than when I regularly did 80.
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u/I_comment_on_stuff_ 7h ago
I'm glad I waited to have a kid, I was 34. I know it would've been physically easier earlier in life, but mentally I needed to mature. I'm exhausted, but I'm glad I waited, it's way better for her.
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u/novaskyd 6h ago
It’s this. There are no free gaps when you have kids. There is no real break. Everything revolves around someone else’s needs.
Yes we signed up for it, yes you can be tired without kids, but it’s just different.
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u/PuzzleheadedDuck3981 7h ago
Yeah, my kids are still at home but are of an age where they're pretty much self sustaining. Theoretically, I could leave them to their own devices for weeks. They're way less work than when they were little. I'm still exhausted come the weekend and could quite happily sleep through both days.
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u/infernobarricuda 8h ago
Even if you have kids those same people love to say, "just wait until this stage", "just wait until they start doing ____", then you'll really know what tired is.
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u/Witty_Management2960 5h ago
I have two kids and feel weird because I genuinely like it.
I hit people with "oh, just wait. It gets even better!". And I really believe that.
PS. We're all tired. Life's tough for everyone.
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u/Morwen42 8h ago
I’m a parent. Most of my friends are childfree. We are ALL fucking tired. Life is hard right now. Everyone I know is struggling
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u/ihavea_purplenurple 7h ago edited 3h ago
The number of people who I know that are at their limits/might have a mental break is insane. Look out for each other, but at the same time, how is this all okay that we let it get this bad??
Edit: thank you for all your thoughtful responses. I ask as a somewhat-rhetorical question to spur the conversation. The way I see it, all of what I’ve seen from the responses, each person is onto something with real merit - so it tells me I’m asking the right question..
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u/DeadWaterBed 6h ago
Look at the world that's been created around us, how sick our culture has become. It's being shaped by the few who benefit from draining the rest of us, and will worsen until the system changes.
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u/Little_View_6659 6h ago
I used to watch movies with the sad old hermit character that would live alone in the woods and think “that’s so sad, how could someone get like that?” Then the last few years happened. I get it. I totally get it.
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u/trust_me_on_that_one 7h ago
I'm a child free millennial and I'm beyond both mentally and physically exhausted.
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u/jam3s2001 6h ago
I've had tired without kids and I've had tired with kids. Sometimes they are different kinds of tired, and sometimes they are exactly the same. Regardless of how we got there, it sucks and our mind and bodies are telling us it is time to take a break and recover.
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u/DrGiggleFr1tz 8h ago
I have kids. I work a lot. My wife is far more tired than I’ll ever be from taking care of our infant while I work. I feel guilty for being exhausted when I come home. But I’m still allowed to be tired.
Even if you’re up the same amount of hours as someone with kids or not, you’re still allowed to be tired. Having a dick measuring contest over who’s more exhausted is one of the most ridiculous things ever.
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u/RatherBeAtDisney 7h ago
I’m pregnant with my second and we have a 3 year old, and honestly less tired now, than I was early in my career. I was overweight, didn’t have a CPAP, working salaried shift work and too many hours. Now, I work from home, eat better, exercise more, get a full nights sleep plus naps, and use a CPAP nightly.
Point being, I can say first hands that kids don’t inherently make you tired, it’s a combination of many factors in life, kids are just one variable.
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u/Major_Lawfulness6122 8h ago
I don’t understand why people play the suffering Olympics.
People can be tired. Who cares. I say this as a parent.
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u/SunBubble920 Fold in the cheese 7h ago
That’s my point. Everyone has their degree. It’s not a competition to say I’m tired. People should phrase theirs responses as such.
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u/Fluffy_Brilliant_718 6h ago
Another thing is how many people in this world dont understand the difference between physically and mentally tired.
I have an I.T. job where my skills and patience are put to the test. Not some I.T. job where i wait for emails. Every day is 5 more issues, and we only have time to solve 2. It's a never-ending hole being dug.
I work from home and at the time she worked retail. She would get so mad when I said anything about being exhausted. I would get "you sit down all day and im running around a store on my feet" constantly.
Well, I finally scored her a work from home Job 4 years ago, and let's just say i havent heard a complaint since - and my birthday cakes have gotten slightly bigger since.
I love her to death, and her silence after me saying im tired tells me everything I need to know. We now suffer together as we rott on the couches watching naked and afraid after work.
Mental exhaustion i could argue, is way worse than physical. And a lot of us today with the world all share some mental exhaustion.
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u/Lloyd--Braun 8h ago
It doesn’t stop when you have kids. If you’re enjoying being a parent of a one year old, “just wait until they’re two!”
“Oh two wasn’t bad? Wait until you have a three year old.”
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u/trupoogles 7h ago
“Hah! You’re in for a nasty surprise when they’re teenagers!”
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u/GlitterBirb 7h ago
People never remember how hard the early years were. One time I was in a work call and a manager apologized for looking tired because his toddler son kept waking up upset from nightmares and needed to be put back to sleep every time. Another manager chimed in that he should "just wait" and that it "never ended" because last night their teenager woke up independently to make a sandwich and woke them up accidentally with the noise. The first person looked visibly upset but then changed the subject.
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u/xyg121 8h ago
Tell this to my older sister lmao, that's one of the reasons why i dont talk to her much cause she just invalidates everything I say
And shes a child therapist too lmao
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u/alienatemebaby 7h ago
No fucking way lmfao
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u/Wooden-Roof5930 7h ago
Girl, I accidentally clicked on your profile, but your nails are amazing!!
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u/alienatemebaby 5h ago
Aw thank you so much!!! I did them myself for a few years following YouTube and buying from Amazon. I NEVER GOT FASTER, took me 3+ hours every damn time 😂 I wanna try it again
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u/kelleehh 7h ago
That’s quite frightening she’s a child therapist with the attitude she has.
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u/-BananaLollipop- 6h ago
On of my older sisters does this both ways. She expects you to listen to all her issues, and makes a massive deal about it all, but if you try and talk about things, she acts like you're trying to one-up her rather than trying to relate in some way. Then she'll talk about how your supposed one-upping makes her feel bad because she feels like people think she's complaining about nothing.
But my favourite is when bad parents make out like not having children invalidates all your ideas about raising a child. Even when you've pretty much helped raise your siblings or nieces/nephews. You can get plenty of experience caring for/raising a child without having your own. They just say it so they don't have to have an argument that might make them admit to doing things wrong in some way.
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u/dismalcosmictomb 8h ago
When I was pregnant and mentioned that I was tired, you know from brewing up a baby, people would say “oh just you wait!!!” Like thx bro I’m literally the most tired I’ve ever been can we not.
It just dismisses your feelings and isn’t very nice 😑
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u/LavenderClouds6 7h ago
It even makes other parents feel shit so wtf do some keep invalidating people? Its "you dont have it bad bc youre child free" then its "at least you dont have 2" "at least you dont have twins" "at least you dont have boys" "at least-" theres allllways something
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u/Ok_Bag_1177 7h ago
they go from "you think youre feeling bad now, dont worry, it gets worse!" to "why arent women having children as much anymore🤬, its those damn nose rings I tell ya!"
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u/Acourtof_exhaustion 8h ago
My second time around I would go off on people like that lmao like thx but im anemic throw up every 3 hours pee when I sneeze or turn my head too hard ended up hospitalized twice for dehydration pregnancy literally tore my body apart both times and people love to dismiss it and say just wait! Once that baby comes you never sleep but I will take newborn baby post partum tired over pregnancy tired any day of the week! I get so tired of people one upping misery it all sucks we all suck we are tired work too hard and have too little fun. You never know what someone has going on behind closed doors everyone needs more empathy for each others pain
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u/Aetherfox_44 8h ago
As a parent: some peoples' only achievement is raising their kids, and they are very sensitive about it. Anyone that says this has some personal issues around feeling like they work hard enough.
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u/Chikitiki90 7h ago
This is my problem with people who make their personality all one thing. I’m a veteran and have a few former coworkers who still make the military their entire personality despite being out twice as long as they were in.
Same with the “professional moms” where they’ve spent the last decade being “mommy” but now that the kids are getting to their pre-teens, they have nothing else to hold onto.
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u/Fabulous_Soup_521 8h ago
Anyone who has taken care of a mentally ill spouse knows exactly what tired is.
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u/LawSchoolLoser1 8h ago
Also anyone that is mentally ill or chronically ill or has cared for an aging/dying parent 24/7… lots of things in life can make you very very tired
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u/bsterling 7h ago
I am chronically ill and my partner is mentally ill. It’s a fun combo!
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u/oscarx-ray 8h ago edited 6h ago
Anyone who has been tired knows what tired is. It's not a competition.
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u/Live-Dish1409 7h ago
Exactly. Because it's not a competition. I'm the most non-competitive person out there, so...I win .
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u/lankymjc 8h ago
Stop playing the misery olympics. People don’t need a special reason to be tired/stressed/frazzled. They shouldn’t have to earn it.
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u/PersephoneInSpace 8h ago
Even having a close friend with a serious mental illness gets exhausting. Watching anyone you love suffer is hard, but I can’t imagine being married to someone struggling.
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u/UselessLezbian 8h ago
Love all the comments coming in and saying what "real" tired is. The whole point is we're all tired, and one person's tired isn't objectively better or worse than someone else's.
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u/Productivitytzar 6h ago
Yep. I could very easily pull the chronically-ill card, but it helps no one to fight over who has it worse. Just say “that sucks, me too” and move past it.
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u/beaglelover89 7h ago
I have three children and try to be mindful NOT to say this to people without kids. It’s all relative. Plus it’s insensitive to dismiss others when they do feel tired
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u/sequree 7h ago
I worked at an emergency service as a doctor for a month. During that time, I had to see 280-330 patients a day non-stop. My shift used to be 24 hours with only a 2-3 hours of breaktime during the night. I cant describe how exhausting it was with words. Not to mention problematic patients whose only objective was to fight and bicker for no reason...
Pretty sure I know what "tired" is without having kids :p
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u/Low_Foundation_9941 5h ago
Crazy that they allow you to work like that. Isnt being that sleep deprived worse than being drunk when it come to cognitive abilities? I never understood why it's allowed in the medical field.
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u/RockStarNinja7 7h ago
This reminds me of the time I had to write up an employee for not being at work on time everyday for like 2 months straight. And not like 5 minutes late, she'd be late 30+ min every single day.
When I went to talk to her she said I didn't understand because I did have kids, and when I asked her to explain what she meant, she said and I quote "nobody who has kids can be at work on time" so I was harassing her by wanting to be on time. And she kept doubling down when I told her that people with kids did actually get to work on time, and they were not an excuse to not be on time. We worked in the mall and she just kept going on that every single person in the mall who had kids was late every day and I was refusing to see it because I was being prejudiced against them for having kids.
She ended up quitting later that day via text because I was being "tacky" for trying to make her be on time when she had a kid. But it was a truly wild train of thought to say I was prejudiced against a person with a kid for wanting them to be at work on time.
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u/AppalachianAgony 7h ago
I will admit I am more tired after having a kid. That said, people need to learn to shut the fuck up because I was also tired before too.
Get em, OP.
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u/FilthyDwayne 8h ago
People with children always want to one up you when you are childfree. Idk why but it happens to me all of the time.
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u/Naive_Personality367 8h ago
people think its a flex to suffer more than you. You get it with people who always have to mention how tough their job is, like that doesnt just make them stupid as fuck for picking a difficult line of work when easier and better paying ones exist.
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u/YodelFrancesca 6h ago
I remember it was fashionable to be busy, overbooked, and overcommitted to a ton of work and social stuff. Maybe this is also a fad.
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u/Responsible_Link_202 8h ago
People with children still do it to others with children. Many of them think that they still have it worse, even when they have fewer kids. I don’t know why it’s always a competition to see who is the most tired.
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u/Quirky-Invite7664 8h ago
The comments in here are just proving OP’s point. Not sure why parents feel the need to one-up everyone in the Tired Olympics.
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u/Sky-Dragonfly-1229 8h ago
I agree with you 100% makes me sick when people lessen your experience or feelings bc it doesn't look like theirs.
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u/zero_nova_blossom 7h ago
"You don't know what tired is until you have kids" they don't even stop to consider the person they're talking to could be physically incapable of having kids. Or literally any other possibility.
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u/OrganizationOld3105 6h ago
All those people wanna do is be victims of their own stupid choices lol. I immediately think significantly less of you if you make any kind of negative emotion into a competition. Go the fuck back to high school and stay there.
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u/Election_Pleasant 8h ago
Omg my sister does this to me ALL THE TIME, and it irritates me so much. Just because you decided to have children doesn't mean that your time isn't as important as my own.
edit: word
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u/RadMom93 8h ago
I have kids, and people who say that irritate the crap out of me. When I was single and didn't have kids yet, I would hate it when people would say the same thing to me.
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u/The-Em-Cee 8h ago
Parent: “you don’t know what tired is!”
Me: “I have two different neurological disorders that affect my sleep patterns, on top of treatment resistant sleep apnea and a medication that fucks with sleep cycles.”
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u/Hungry-Bowler3618 8h ago
Right, it’s not a contest, I’m exhausted because of my kids, you have no children, you also get to be exhausted. It sucks for both of us, I don’t need to one up you, let’s be tired together.
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u/NewResolution2775 4h ago
People with kids are the most annoying people on the planet.
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u/CooperPants1 3h ago
I have two kids. I was more tired when I worked full time and went to school full time. Some people are just dicks.
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u/Free-Competition-241 1h ago
Now imagine having all of that going on AND having kids. That’s the point. That’s the reality for people who give a shit about their kids. And not to take anything away from you.
You can be that tired, come home from work, and crash on the couch. Or sit around naked and eat jello. Whatever.
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u/wallstreettoday2021 1h ago
try doing all of that….and add another 20-30 hours of child rearing needs on top of it. it is a different level of tired
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u/Ace_of_Sphynx128 8h ago
I get these comments sometimes because imm young, but I’m a carer for two family members with disabilities. I definitely know what tired is.
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u/phoenixrising211 8h ago
Two things can both be exhausting at the same time. Kids can make you tired, and also a second, unrelated thing can also make you tired. It's not a zero sum game ffs.
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u/curiocannacat 8h ago
I'm tired of hearing it. I used to be polite but now I explain my health conditions and various surgeries and let them feel awkward. :)
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u/MarsailiPearl 8h ago
I have 2 kids and I was way more tired when I was single and childless. I worked more. I had more of a social life.
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u/rosegoldblonde 8h ago
My friend always says “this isn’t the oppression olympics” whenever people try to do the one up of someone else’s suffering.